Insomnia

A volte penso a quanto mi sia famigliare il buio. È l’unico momento in cui non mi sento solo. Non ho bisogno di vedere, di ascoltare, ma posso finalmente essere in contatto solo con me stesso e non col mondo esterno. Colori, forme, dimensioni: sentimento estraneo. È vero dire che non mi senta solo? Non lo so sinceramente. Il buio è la proiezione di ciò che abbiamo all’interno, un’idea innata. Il sentimento estraneo lo iniziamo a comprendere posteriormente alla nostra nascita. Connessione dei due mondi: quello interno ed esterno. Chiudi gli occhi, vedi nero, apri gli occhi, vedi nero. La vista è ingannata. Gli occhi sono un mezzo inefficace in questo momento. Se tieni un occhio chiuso e uno aperto non ti accorgi della differenza. Proveniamo dal buio. Finiremo nel buio. Perché il buio ci spaventa? Perché noi siamo spaventati da noi stessi e da ciò che non viene captato dai nostri sensi e che ci è famigliare. Alla luce del giorno cerchiamo di scappare da questa paura rifugiandoci in altre cose, persone. Perché il buio esterno ci spaventa? Perché il buio conseguente alla chiusura degli occhi no? Perché il “buio interiore” invece sì? Esistono tanti tipi di buio, che in modo volgare si assomigliano. Quando sono al buio non mi sento solo, ma mi sento perso. Non ho più un’idea di spazialità e di temporalità. Il buio annulla tutte le dimensioni, ma il buio non annulla la mia essenza. Nel buio più totale rimani solo te stesso, non puoi scappare. 

03/01/2019 - 01:17 AM

02/04/2020

My mind's weak

My heart's weak

My body's weak

My soul is lost

The Last Time You Did

Have you ever thought about when it was the last time you did something? Something that you’ve never done again anymore. Maybe something that you won't be able to do anymore in the future. And that was your last time. It’s so automatic when you’re living the moment, you don’t think about the importance of it, how much that little action may count in your life. Let’s take as example our life routine, things that you know you’re gonna do often and repeatedly, things that on that right moment you take for granted and don't put much attention on it. But then one day you’ll end up writing this fucking post remembering how things have changed over the time. I can’t recall the last time I played hide and seek. It was too much time ago. Too fucking much. And the most terrifying thing is that the really last time I played it, I would never had thought that would have been the last one. I probably had thought I would have played it again in few days. But time passed. And I never played it anymore. It feels so strange. Things in your routine that are common and familiar only for a lasting time. Because things change. How did I feel the last time and moment I entered school? It felt good. But was strange knowing I would never had crossed that threshold again. But in this case I was aware of it. It’s different when you realize that's the very last time you're going to do that specific thing, or visit that specific place, and with little care think you can do it again one day, but knowing in reality it will not be so.

(14/11/2019)

To Remember

Remember to remember

To not forget to forget

The unforgettable

To see the unseen

To unlove yourself

One Day

One day I will tell you

what I couldn't tell

for these long years

keeping all inside

One day I will tell you

what makes me think

I'm not worth for it

I'm not worth for this world

One day I will tell you

and I will show you

The worst part of me

The worst part of us

One day I will tell you

what I could had done

If only I felt it

If only I wasn't scared

Scared of myself.

06/09/2019

It's time to forget

what we conceived

as a materialistic heart

a plastic breath

an elastic beat

Invisible to your eyes, Invisible to the world. I'm an ethereal aura with aesthetic visions, existing only on the Internet. You won't find me under your bed, neither among the pages of lost books. I'm Inviiisible.

Dear Inviiisible

Dear inviiisible,

is it too late to start living?