Hi Nhi,
I’m finally writing to you as you promised me to write to you whenever I wanted to. I needed some time to process all the thing, I still haven’t realized what happened, and a part of me cannot accept it. Maybe it will never. What are you feeling right now? I wonder if the otherworldly world is darker than the earthly one. Do you feel more alone than before? Is it scaring? I hope so hard that you’re resting in peace. I hope the burden on your shoulders that you’ve always carried on has faded away. I hope you’re smiling again watching us. You’ve always been one of my strongest influences in my life: I admire you, I admire your works but most importantly I admire you as a person. And I miss you. I fucking miss you. I feel so sorry. People are evil, and so is our mind and body. Why do our souls have to suffer so much?
I sometimes think about how brave and strong you’ve been all your life. Sadly, not everyone can understand. Pain is something you can’t understand easily if you haven’t felt it. And nobody seems that will ever understand us. We all always feel alone somehow, and we can’t really escape. But you decided to put an end to all this. You just put down the dot to conclude your story, and as for every story with a bad ending, I feel sad. If we cared more for you art than your private life, probably it would have been better. You escaped many times, you didn’t just escape from your country for those people who threatened you, but you were primarily escaping from your internal demons, and this is what nobody still understands. You tried ego death building a new persona of yourself, as a sorta of restart, but it could not really change you but just hide. It’s strong to say, but I can understand your choice even if it hurts me. It’s easy to say “go ahead”, when living just makes you feel more dead day by day, when you just can’t see an escape and everyday the weight on your shoulders keeps growing. It’s an endless pain. It’s an endless battle. And all you do is just keep suffering. And you may be wondering what’s the sense of living when you’re already dead. Dear GG, I’m so sorry. I need to say sorry. But I’m also thankful to you for everything you gave to me. The sky will tell me how you feel there, when it's sunny you're peaceful, when it rains you're crying, and i will get wet with your tears. i will always look up to the sky thinking about you and sending you lights, dear. At the end, you are just an angel that returned to heaven, because you couldn't stay in this evil world anymore.
This is not a goodbye, GG. I will never forget you, and one day we will meet.
With my biggest love, thank you again, Dear Plaaastic. ❥
15/12/18
♥
I’m finally writing to you as you promised me to write to you whenever I wanted to. I needed some time to process all the thing, I still haven’t realized what happened, and a part of me cannot accept it. Maybe it will never. What are you feeling right now? I wonder if the otherworldly world is darker than the earthly one. Do you feel more alone than before? Is it scaring? I hope so hard that you’re resting in peace. I hope the burden on your shoulders that you’ve always carried on has faded away. I hope you’re smiling again watching us. You’ve always been one of my strongest influences in my life: I admire you, I admire your works but most importantly I admire you as a person. And I miss you. I fucking miss you. I feel so sorry. People are evil, and so is our mind and body. Why do our souls have to suffer so much?
I sometimes think about how brave and strong you’ve been all your life. Sadly, not everyone can understand. Pain is something you can’t understand easily if you haven’t felt it. And nobody seems that will ever understand us. We all always feel alone somehow, and we can’t really escape. But you decided to put an end to all this. You just put down the dot to conclude your story, and as for every story with a bad ending, I feel sad. If we cared more for you art than your private life, probably it would have been better. You escaped many times, you didn’t just escape from your country for those people who threatened you, but you were primarily escaping from your internal demons, and this is what nobody still understands. You tried ego death building a new persona of yourself, as a sorta of restart, but it could not really change you but just hide. It’s strong to say, but I can understand your choice even if it hurts me. It’s easy to say “go ahead”, when living just makes you feel more dead day by day, when you just can’t see an escape and everyday the weight on your shoulders keeps growing. It’s an endless pain. It’s an endless battle. And all you do is just keep suffering. And you may be wondering what’s the sense of living when you’re already dead. Dear GG, I’m so sorry. I need to say sorry. But I’m also thankful to you for everything you gave to me. The sky will tell me how you feel there, when it's sunny you're peaceful, when it rains you're crying, and i will get wet with your tears. i will always look up to the sky thinking about you and sending you lights, dear. At the end, you are just an angel that returned to heaven, because you couldn't stay in this evil world anymore.
This is not a goodbye, GG. I will never forget you, and one day we will meet.
With my biggest love, thank you again, Dear Plaaastic. ❥
15/12/18
♥
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