Dear inviiisible,
is it too late to start living?
Posts
Hi Nhi,
I’m finally writing to you as you promised me to write to you whenever I wanted to. I needed some time to process all the thing, I still haven’t realized what happened, and a part of me cannot accept it. Maybe it will never. What are you feeling right now? I wonder if the otherworldly world is darker than the earthly one. Do you feel more alone than before? Is it scaring? I hope so hard that you’re resting in peace. I hope the burden on your shoulders that you’ve always carried on has faded away. I hope you’re smiling again watching us. You’ve always been one of my strongest influences in my life: I admire you, I admire your works but most importantly I admire you as a person. And I miss you. I fucking miss you. I feel so sorry. People are evil, and so is our mind and body. Why do our souls have to suffer so much?
I sometimes think about how brave and strong you’ve been all your life. Sadly, not everyone can understand. Pain is something you can’t understand easily if you haven’t felt it. And nobody seems that will ever understand us. We all always feel alone somehow, and we can’t really escape. But you decided to put an end to all this. You just put down the dot to conclude your story, and as for every story with a bad ending, I feel sad. If we cared more for you art than your private life, probably it would have been better. You escaped many times, you didn’t just escape from your country for those people who threatened you, but you were primarily escaping from your internal demons, and this is what nobody still understands. You tried ego death building a new persona of yourself, as a sorta of restart, but it could not really change you but just hide. It’s strong to say, but I can understand your choice even if it hurts me. It’s easy to say “go ahead”, when living just makes you feel more dead day by day, when you just can’t see an escape and everyday the weight on your shoulders keeps growing. It’s an endless pain. It’s an endless battle. And all you do is just keep suffering. And you may be wondering what’s the sense of living when you’re already dead. Dear GG, I’m so sorry. I need to say sorry. But I’m also thankful to you for everything you gave to me. The sky will tell me how you feel there, when it's sunny you're peaceful, when it rains you're crying, and i will get wet with your tears. i will always look up to the sky thinking about you and sending you lights, dear. At the end, you are just an angel that returned to heaven, because you couldn't stay in this evil world anymore.
This is not a goodbye, GG. I will never forget you, and one day we will meet.
With my biggest love, thank you again, Dear Plaaastic. ❥
15/12/18
♥
I’m finally writing to you as you promised me to write to you whenever I wanted to. I needed some time to process all the thing, I still haven’t realized what happened, and a part of me cannot accept it. Maybe it will never. What are you feeling right now? I wonder if the otherworldly world is darker than the earthly one. Do you feel more alone than before? Is it scaring? I hope so hard that you’re resting in peace. I hope the burden on your shoulders that you’ve always carried on has faded away. I hope you’re smiling again watching us. You’ve always been one of my strongest influences in my life: I admire you, I admire your works but most importantly I admire you as a person. And I miss you. I fucking miss you. I feel so sorry. People are evil, and so is our mind and body. Why do our souls have to suffer so much?
I sometimes think about how brave and strong you’ve been all your life. Sadly, not everyone can understand. Pain is something you can’t understand easily if you haven’t felt it. And nobody seems that will ever understand us. We all always feel alone somehow, and we can’t really escape. But you decided to put an end to all this. You just put down the dot to conclude your story, and as for every story with a bad ending, I feel sad. If we cared more for you art than your private life, probably it would have been better. You escaped many times, you didn’t just escape from your country for those people who threatened you, but you were primarily escaping from your internal demons, and this is what nobody still understands. You tried ego death building a new persona of yourself, as a sorta of restart, but it could not really change you but just hide. It’s strong to say, but I can understand your choice even if it hurts me. It’s easy to say “go ahead”, when living just makes you feel more dead day by day, when you just can’t see an escape and everyday the weight on your shoulders keeps growing. It’s an endless pain. It’s an endless battle. And all you do is just keep suffering. And you may be wondering what’s the sense of living when you’re already dead. Dear GG, I’m so sorry. I need to say sorry. But I’m also thankful to you for everything you gave to me. The sky will tell me how you feel there, when it's sunny you're peaceful, when it rains you're crying, and i will get wet with your tears. i will always look up to the sky thinking about you and sending you lights, dear. At the end, you are just an angel that returned to heaven, because you couldn't stay in this evil world anymore.
This is not a goodbye, GG. I will never forget you, and one day we will meet.
With my biggest love, thank you again, Dear Plaaastic. ❥
15/12/18
♥
The question is easy: am I the only supposed to carry on all this weight? Or should I find someone with which share it? Am I allowed? Past bad relationships keep making me think that all this weight was created just for me. Does this happen just to me? I don’t know. But I think that we all are oblied to undergo this pressure in a way it keeps us attached to the earthly world. If the weight on our shoulders was way too light, we supposedly could have more chance to run faster, jump higher, without such a burden that keeps pushing us down making our movements more complicated and difficult, and so we could be more lifted, we could jump so high that we could start flying. But that’s not allowed, to fly. In other words, it’s all planned. But I think that maybe it can be possible to share the weight with someone. It’s very difficult to find the right prisoner that will take part of the other handcuff. But if that happens, two people together would surely jump higher than me alone, even if we all cannot fly in the end. To fly is probably forbidden because if everyone could do that, there would be so many clashes in the air, and skies would become like the earthly world. That’s not permitted. Let’s leave that space only to those who really deserve it, like angels. We are not angels.
